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what is it like to turn 40


In short the answer is no different than it is to approach any other birthday, but the beginning of a new decade of figures has been given great importance and significance in our society. So, before we start not all cultures feel that 40 is a thing, a few years ago a friend of mine had to rush to plan a great 40th for her husband after learning in the UK it is supposedly a big deal as in Japan it is just not a thing. Also turning 40 is going to be different for everyone, of course it is. Yes, I may be a blogger so somewhat in a mindset that complete strangers are interested in hearing about my life but I am not so arrogant that I think you are all just the same as me, with all of the same thoughts, that would be a very scary world. I was in fact inspired to write this post by a fellow blogger Kat from Kat Got The Cream, my current  hero for going back to school this year for her Masters. We were walking in Harrogate on one of the days that could be described as summer, I was rambling and she said you should totally write that as a post. So here we are.
It is safe to say I had no thoughts at all on approaching 30 apart from the fact that I was chomping at the bit. I have always had an hubristc air about me when it comes to knowledge, I suppose if you are raised in a family of intellectual snobs that can happen. So I could not wait to start prefixing sentences with “well when you are in your 30s”. My 30s were, are amazeballs. My 30s were when I truly became comfortable in my own skin, I had all the same fun I had in my 20s but I had a disposable income so I could afford a taxi home and that extra drink after a club night. I didn’t have to sleep in a dorm room or fly with Ryanair. I finally knew what clothes suited me, and better still I could afford them! I think my main issue with 40s is I am sad to see the 30s go.
I have to hand on heart say I am not having a 40 freak out but I have started to notice some significant changes in me, for example I bought both day cream and night cream for the first time ever this year. I have no idea if they do in fact stop time but I feel like I am doing something and really isn’t that the point of beauty products? It is my new approaching 40 shopping habits that have been the cause for most concern; only the other week I suggested to Joe that we spend a day searching around the shops looking for a tissue box cover, he walked out of the room silently. Looking back I support his decision. To tissue box or not to tissue box is not really the question but is it just a gateway to stronger more damaging purchases? Will I one day pick up a Cotton Traders catalogue and think, “Wow that is lovely I am going to buy one in every colour”. Most of my concerns are deeply rooted in the choices and changes in myself that may be out of my control.
We all walk around with a cocksure attitude in our youth, telling ourselves “I will always” and “I will never” and before you know it you are spitting on a tissue to ‘clean’ your child’s face and listening to Radio 1 with a look of utter disgust. Are we all heading down a road of inevitability? The truth is I already enjoy a good garden centre, vast swathes of youth culture make no sense to me, I often use the phrase ‘in my day’. Perhaps my knowledge, (a knowledge I have had since I was 18 if I am honest) of the fact that I am out of touch and uncool will be my saviour. I could never be described as trying too hard, maybe I could start a group: Hi my name is …..and I am overly self-aware of how lame I am and do not care. I often think that I had to have children just to justify my eye rolling sense of humour, as a parent that will be expected and I have a 20 year jump on most.
My journey to 40 is far from an intrepid one and I cannot decide if this is a fear of aging, a sense that I am running out of time or I just cannot be arsed to organise a party. The expectation put on the celebrations that should occur are daunting and perhaps people are happier and more settled when they hit 41 not because they have grown used to being in their 40s but that they are not organising and paying for endless parties, trips, spa days etc…
The notion of time is definitely an issue for me, for example I am probably not going to be a concert pianist and I know that, I just don’t have the time. I am probably not going to have written as many books as I would have liked largely due to the fact that getting published is tougher than people think and I have a literary agent. I want to live a 1001 lives because so many things appeal to me. The number of life changers Joe has to listen to is high; hey honey I think we should buy this finca and live off grid and I will teach classes, sod it let’s sell the house and just travel, I know I said we were having pasta for dinner but I have made jerk jackfruit instead. Okay the last one is not so big but Joe had been looking forward to that pasta all day. Those things are maybe not so much about age and time but the fact that I realise I am not getting a Nobel prize in Physics and becoming an MP whilst simultaneously writing 3 cookbooks, living off grid and recording an album. Maybe 40 will be a good learning curve for me, Nic you get one life, it can be full, it can be varied but it is just one life.
So in conclusion I have not really decided what my 40s will hold but if you see a confused woman in a Cotton Traders outfit brandishing a tissue box cover and wondering what the big deal about a flat white is please say hi.
October 2, 2017



  1. Reply


    September 27, 2017

    Age doesnt matter! You are how you feel xx

  2. Reply

    Dannii Martin

    September 28, 2017

    It's amazing how much of a big deal people make turning 40. I did have a bit of a freak out when I turned 30, so my 30s are so much better than my 20s.

  3. Reply

    How to Choose Glasses

    September 28, 2017

    Looks great, love this sharing so much, thanks!

  4. Reply

    Matthew Thompson

    September 28, 2017

    You know what they say, you're only as old as you feel. I'm only 28 and regularly find myself questioning the musical choices on Radio 1, so you're not alone!

    Matt | It's Matt Thompson

  5. Reply

    Lucie Aiston

    October 1, 2017

    Actually LOLed at the spit on tussue comment!! AND the cotton traders ���� im not far behind you and really not quite sure how I feel about turning 40! Great post! #Blogtober17

  6. Reply

    Fee - One of Each

    October 1, 2017

    Hmmm do I perhaps also need a tissue box cover? … Radio 2 is the answer to all your problems! #blogtober17

  7. Reply

    Jaymee @ The Mum Diaries

    October 1, 2017

    I'm glad to hear you loved your 30s (I am nearly there) 40s sound terrifying to me! Sorry,

  8. Reply

    Nicolette Lafonseca-Hargreaves

    October 1, 2017

    30s are awesome you'll be grand x

  9. Reply

    Nicolette Lafonseca-Hargreaves

    October 1, 2017

    It is but I kinda hate Jeremy vine love a lot of the times though

  10. Reply

    Nicolette Lafonseca-Hargreaves

    October 1, 2017

    Thank you we will make it cool together look out 40s

  11. Reply

    Nicolette Lafonseca-Hargreaves

    October 1, 2017

    I do dig a good 6 music in all honesty I question so much of radio 1 in my youth too

  12. Reply

    Nicolette Lafonseca-Hargreaves

    October 1, 2017

    I think 20s are tough mostly broke still kinda young but spoken down to I found them hard

  13. Reply

    Nicolette Lafonseca-Hargreaves

    October 1, 2017

    I feel about 80 with aches and lack of sleep form kiddos so I am fucked! Lol x

  14. Reply

    Janet Yarwood

    October 2, 2017

    I can't wait for 40 – two years to go!

  15. Reply

    Toby Goes Bananas // Sarah

    October 2, 2017

    Ha, I'm going to be 40 next year and I totally get a lot of what you're saying. My 30s were pretty awesome too so my 40s have got a lot to live up to! #Blogtober

  16. Reply


    October 5, 2017

    Welcome to #Blogtober17. I was 40 last year, and I don't think it changed a thing, I didn't want a big party, so the nine of us went to Disneyland Paris for 5 days, and we had a great time and made wonderful memories.

  17. Reply

    Stephanie Lee

    October 28, 2017

    Well, happy birthday! Isn't 40 the new 30? 🙂 It sounds like you're quite self aware, which is truly awesome! I'm turning 30 soon, and it's a joy to read about how much you enjoyed your 30's! I hope the next decade is just as nice for you!

  18. Reply

    Munchies and Munchkins

    January 11, 2018

    I'm loving my 30's but before it hit I wasn't looking forward to it at all. Now I'm 34 I feel settled in my skin and who I am. It's a nice feeling.

  19. Reply


    January 11, 2018

    My grandmother is in her 70s and she says it's only in the last couple of years that she's really started to feel it – for her, even people in their 50s are still young girls and boys. 🙂 Happy approaching birthday!