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I Have To Pinch Myself

I did vow that this blog would stay true and not become a mummy blog, but, the blog has always been an account of my life. The recipes are the things we eat, the crafts get used in my home or given as gifts the outfits are all my own. So with a baby as cute and photogenic as mine can you blame me for the odd indulgent post. A few months ago I shared my birth story so those of you who read it know that the path to getting this wonderful baby was a rocky one. I feel lucky everyday and today on Sebastian’s 6 month birthday I want to share the letter I have written to him for his book, (more on that another day).

Dear Sebastian,

Today you are 6 months old, half a year, 183 days, no matter how it is is phrased it still makes no sense to me. When you were born I counted your age in hours, then days, then weeks and now months, but the truth is I still measure your existence in seconds. I don’t want to miss any of them. I miss you when I go to the toilet. I mourn every habit you grow out of, I am desperately trying to cram every memory into my brain, only to rejoice and be amazed by every new thing you learn. I worry that there is not enough room in my head to effectively store all of these memories; the sound of your babbling, your laugh, the way your eyes light up when I sing a song you recognise. Hopefully you will not require too much help at school and I can relegate geography and maths to the archives to make space in my brain for the many wonderful things you will do.

I am so lucky to have you. You are terrible at being put down and insist on getting up for chats in the early hours, just to check in, I am exhausted and have looked better but I would not have it any other way. You are perfect, you are exactly what I wanted.

At the moment you have started weaning and 2 days ago we had a breakthrough. You wanted your own fork and to eat from my plate. All the simple foods I had given to you were cast aside for macaroni cheese with garlic and shallots. I loved this because you wanted to do what I was doing, just be a regular family member and it made my heart swell with joy because you are my family and you were happiest being part of the gang.

It is such a strange feeling, it feels as though you have always been here and at the same time it feels like yesterday I was watching Lost in labour. It is like the feeling you get when you get back from holiday and your memories are far away but it was only that morning you were in another country. That is an awful analogy but by the time you read this you will be accustomed to my need to make analogies no matter how bad they are. I think it is because my heart does not know how not to love you, it is hardwired now, that is why it feels like you have always been here.

The first 6 months have been amazing and I am so excited for adventures together. Walking in the woods and and collecting treasures, jumping in puddles, finger painting, music group, the list is endless.

I have traveled the world and had so many wonderful adventures but having you in my life is the best adventure ever.

I love you, happy half birthday

Mummy (I love being able to write that word about myself)


1 Comment

  1. Reply

    Vanessa Kay

    June 27, 2014

    What beautiful sentiments Nicolette. Enjoy every moment with your lovely little man, as we enjoy seeing him develop through your (many!) photos! xx